Hollywood pitch. A double limerick…
To Hollywood film agent Tabitha Fitch
Brunhilda submitted The Satinwood Witch.
Such tales fill a popular teen market niche.
Exploiting that market can make authors rich.
Ms. Fitch followed up
By texting Phil Krupp.
“I’ll buy morning cup.
Got script. Coming up.”
Replied the producer, “Don’t bother. Just pitch.”
She did–in the trash! (Have this agent? I’d switch!)
© 2016 David E. Miller
(Photo by David E. Miller)
(Photo by David E. Miller)
Working for peanuts…
My sister applied at the local art galleries.
She now works for peanuts at Archibald Mallory’s.
Commissions and salaries
Were better at Valerie’s.
But free bags of peanuts? She fell for the calories!
© 2016 David E. Miller
A note to archaeologists: BYOB…
A poorly sealed, half-empty bottle turned up at the site.
They opened it up, and the wine left inside was alright.
In fact, it was still carbonated.
The bottle was then carbon dated.
Two thousand years old! But the wine was put in it last night…
© 2016 David E. Miller
Getting high…
A high wire performer named Eddy
Drank whiskey to keep his nerves steady.
A bottle he’d drink.
And then, with a wink,
He’d rush to the wire. He was ready!
© 2016 David E. Miller
(Photo by David E. Miller)
Off the beaten (flight) path…
The man with the black leather jacket
Revealed that his name was not Jack. It
Was really Mañuel.
And we could all tell
He’d boarded the plane to hijack it.
© 2016 David E. Miller
Help wanted…
I just wanted help in the aisle.
The manager grumbled, “Wait. I’ll
Have J. Grumby paged.”
“Just skip it!” I raged.
“’Cause he’s stuck in Gilligan’s Isle!”
© 2016 David E. Miller
Jail jargon…
White Fang came before One Eye, no?
In Bingo, B4 won. I know
Tchai wrote tutu tales,
And in juju jails
The jags lobby for 1-9-0.
© 2016 David E. Miller
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