Limerick #195

How to irritate a sheep farmer …

My sheep are infested, and now I’ve been fleeced!
The vet charged a fortune! The lice? They’ve increased!
My neighbor’s got sheep,
And he’s a real creep.
I truly suspect that the vet’s palms were greased!

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #194

Max attack…

My uncle’s a joker named Max.
He made a tin box that attacks!
“Go on! Crank the toy!
It’s musical joy!”
His jack-in-the-box shoots out jacks!

© 2016 David E. Miller

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Limerick #193

This campaign is on a (cinnamon) roll. A double limerick…

Charles Foster: “I’m planning to spice my campaign.
In politics one has to change the terrain!
My rivals will paint rosy pictures in vain
While I treat the pundits (who think I’m insane)
To cinnamon. Yes!
But I must confess  
That folks in the press
Will fault me unless
I give them permission to go entertain  
Their readers by calling me Cinnamon Cane!”

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #192

Don’t be a louse! Tip the boy 17,000 kips…

An Irishman, visiting Laos, said, “Laddie!
I’m hungry for rice cakes, so go fetch your daddy!”
The young boy replied,
“You want them pan-fried?
And served with rice wine? You can drink to St. Paddy!”

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #191

Advice to the nouveau riche…

Pearl said, “Mr. Oysterman, you’ve got the bucks.
Come out of your shell, sir. And go buy a tux!
To please wealthy folks
Just tell a few jokes.
But if you earn kudos, say ‘Thanks!’ not ‘Aw, shucks!’”

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #190

Cankles were the culprit…

The cankylosaurus regrettably linked
His over-sized ankles to going extinct.
He barely could run,
So his kind was done!
He shuddered in fear when the carnivores winked!

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #189

Don’t risk your neck…

The vampire stood up and then heaved a deep sigh.
“I think you expected a blood curdling cry.
You drove in two stakes,
Now you have the shakes.
You suddenly realize the stakes were too high!”

© 2016 David E. Miller

 

Limerick #188

How do bottle collectors chase away the blues?…

A weekend ago, Brenda’s mood turned to blue.
The indigo bottle that she’d tried to glue
Was missing a piece.
But now she’s found peace.
Did Brenda go drinking? She’s drunk. That’s a clue!

© 2016 David E. Miller

Limerick #187

If you can’t flee, go with the flow…

I don’t like the circus, and don’t care for dancing,
But I told the “elephant girl” I’m romancing
I’d go see the flea circus dances
Because under no circumstances
Would I risk the pet clinic Ellie’s financing.

© 2016 David E. Miller