Limerick #255

When the love game is one game too many. A double limerick…

An ice hockey fan broke the ice, “My name’s Pat!”
He hoped he could get the young lady to chat   
He’d taken a seat in the row where she sat
And then had moved closer to where she was at
“I’m watching the game!”
“Me, too! What’s your name?”
“I’m Puddin’ Untame!
Puts your name to shame!”
“That’s horse hockey, ma’am! Your reply leaves me flat…”
“And flat out of luck, Pat! Horse hockey..? Puck that!”

© 2019 David E. Miller

Limerick #254

Mr. Cowell’s car. A two-part limerick…

“I know the old man! Mr. Cowell will strive
To make it on Sunday. He’d never deprive
The kids at our church
Of lessons. He’ll search
For ways to arrive here by 8:45…”

“That’s not a good plan,” replied Kitty O’Gyve.
“How ‘bout that grease monkey named Lionel Shrive?
His prices are fair.
I’d pay to repair
The Stutz just to see if that Bearcat’ll drive!”    

© 2019 David E. Miller
(Note: How many animal references can you find?)

Limerick #253

How to get subjects to follow you…

Sir Piedmont was known as the Foot Prince
The people said he had the good sense
To spurn shoes and socks
On all of his walks
Wherever he went, he left footprints!

© 2019 David E. Miller

Limerick #252

Fire and water…

The fire walker scolded his daughter
For making the coal bed much hotter.
His daughter replied,
      “I know just the thing 
For feet that are fried:
       A boiling hot spring!   
Your feet can cool off in the water!”

© 2019 David E. Miller

Limerick #251

German defeat…

“I think you should call it kaputs, pa!
I cannot deny you’ve got chutzpah
But you cannot heal
The pain that they feel
Those foot soldiers don’t need a foot spa!”

© 2019 David E. Miller

Limerick #250

Ban Joe’s banjo…?

Joe Downe bought a townhouse downtown
His neighbors, the Nabors, played down
How loudly Joe played
But quietly prayed
That he’d lay that loud banjo down!

© 2019 David E. Miller

The two pillars of the Christian Family are husband and wife, devoted to one another and to God. But in today’s world, those pillars are fragmenting. Will the Christian Family survive?

(my photo)